I'm sitting in the airport waiting to fly back to beautiful Los Angeles feeling much better about some things (and a little conflicted about one thing). The living situation when the rest of my crew move out to LA in May, for example is starting to materialize. We had some tough discussions and have narrowed down what we may be looking for, and also the areas we are looking. I feel better about their abilities to pay rent, which is also very good news (something I was nervous about until this trip).
The biggest thing that happened on this trip, though, was a confidence boost. I'm great at hiding the fact that my self confidence varies from a ton to zilch on a daily basis. What keeps my confidence up is the group of friends I have. They support and believe in me, and they tell me this constantly. I need this more than I like to let on, which is why the fact that I was feeling lonely before this little trip was bad news. It was impacting my confidence in my actions and my approach to everything. But on my ride to the airport, my friend who was driving gave me a huge confidence boost. He will be moving out here in May to become an actor/model, and he just kept telling me that the progress I'm making is better than I'm giving myself credit for. The one thing we keep hearing is that achieving success in this business will take time, and I'm not the most patient of people. But he was able to convince me that I'm doing well and on the right track, which I really needed to hear. Not only that, but that he's going to use my actions as a model for when he gets out there. Anyway, this might be less about him and more about me, but it was huge for me!
And holy cow do I love airports. I know people can't help how well they deal with air travel, and some wonderful people in my life hate flying, but I love watching people in airports. People freak out, their 'ticks' and odd tendencies come out, and you can learn a lot by watching them. It's fun and also eye opening. It helps me to keep my temper in check and to work on myself as a human being. So many of these people have lost all perspective. For examples, airline employees are people, and they are at work. So many people forget this (and not just about airline employees) and treat them terribly. And nobody remembers that flying is amazing. The fact that we can get thousands of miles in only a few hours is pretty impressively remarkable, and so many people take it for granted. Louis CK does a routine on this, and he's right. Waiting in an airport for a few hours is so much easier than days on a train.
Anyway, I hope you have someone to hold tonight, imaginary readers. I did for the last three nights, and it's the most incredible feeling in the world.
-D
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