Day Thirty Nine - So Much For Plans

The best laid plans of mice and men, eh?

So yesterday I got all excited about having specific goals and making time to accomplish them and hit the gym. What a fool I was. Because of course, that's the day my aunt and uncle decide they need my help all afternoon before babysitting tonight. And not only that, but little H had a bad night and I literally (EFFING LITERALLY) had to hold him or he would start screaming. He's normally very well behaved, but I had to hold him in one position for more than four hours. My back is still killing me. I couldn't sit down because he'd start screaming. I couldn't even shift him or he'd start screaming. My ear is still ringing a little bit and I can't straighten out my right arm. But more importantly, I was able to get less than two hours of work in yesterday. LESS THAN TWO HOURS?!? What the hell do my aunt and uncle think I'm doing out here? Really? Not only that, but they woke me up nice and early tonight. Did the dishwasher really need to be unloaded in frustration after H started fussing at 8 am? Thanks. Thanks so much for that. Because I'm still exhausted and I'm babysitting again tonight, and they 'need my help' all weekend. I need Tuesday to get here as fast as it can.

Oh, TUESDAY! The first bit of good news! I still haven't told my aunt and uncle, who will undoubtedly be upset that their free baby-labor will be leaving, but I have a place to stay! It's not cheap, but I should be able to actually get things done, which is a huge relief. Because as much as I've been trying (and I have), I've been getting so little done that it's really disgusting. I can't even believe how little time I've gotten.

But that all should change now! I will have more time to write, more freedom to do all the things I need to do for my acting career, I'll have cell phone reception, I'll be able to have privacy when I need it (and even when I don't) and I'll be encouraged because I'll be staying with a friend who is super-motivated and is amazing at organization and getting things done. This will be very good for me. Now if only I could get the energy up to tell my aunt and uncle (dilemma is that this living situation is only for 6 weeks, and won't quite last me all the way until the rest of the crew gets out here, so I'll need a place to stay for the two weeks after the friend returns from Europe).

Phew. I'll have no more excuses in four days, and I'm looking forward to that!

-D

Day Thirty Eight - Specific Goals

That's todays mission. I'm setting out specific goals, because I've been too vague in what I want to accomplish the last couple of days, and I haven't accomplished enough because of that. So today's plan is to escape from here as soon as I can (once the laundry is finished, hopefully!), hunker down at coffee shop (probably starbucks because it's close...I know, I'm a corporate sellout...), finish my damn review of Eccentricities of a Nightingale, create an outline for the original pilot spec I started last week (because I've been spinning my wheels a little bit), and then outline the feature that I started working on again that's tentatively titled 'What's left'. That seems do-able for today. I also want to sign up for imdb pro so that I can do some research and figure out what CDs and Agents I want to target, because I'm also spinning my wheels a little bit on the acting side of things. And I don't have time to be spinning my wheels! Fortunately I was talking with two of my new friends out here about teaming up to do dropoffs to agencies and CDs offices where possible. They are a little older and more diverse than I am which may mean we're targeting different places and shows, but it will still be a good experience and I think it's important.

OK, hopefully the laundry is almost done so I can fold it (and put on some pants) and get the heck out of here!

-D

Day Thirty Seven - Slowly But Surely

So I finally heard back from my TV Writer friend AND SHE LIKED MY SPEC SCRIPT!!! That's super exciting news, and she is happy to pass it on to her agent (who, I discovered after some research, is a pretty big deal!)! Hooray! Good news for me! I just have to keep cranking material out, now. I'm working on finishing one of my original pilot specs, and I just moved my screenplay idea from a back burner to one closer to the front. Since I don't have anything tomorrow morning, I'm planning on seeing if I can burn a little midnight oil tonight and crank out some pages!

I also was turned on to a bunch of new resources, and had a semi-job interview today! It would be very inconsistent work, but it actually would be a beneficial opportunity for me to get some acting and writing work, plus some on-set experience.

Mostly good news today!

Also, saw David Schwimmer, and he's got a big ol' beard right now. It's making me consider growing mine out a little bit again...hmmm.

-D

Day Thirty Five - Making Up For Lost Time

So the past week has been mostly spent dealing with things for the job that I just quit. Phew! Now I can focus on the important things (and maybe finding a job that doesn't suck my soul). But I've got some Web Series related business to take care of, which is always fun to work on, even if it's just keeping track of peoples contact information and whatnot. I also get to write a review of the play I saw on Saturday, Eccentricities of a Nightingale, which will make me feel good.

And on to the business of today!

-D

Day Thirty Four - Like A Bad Breakup

I emailed the company I began working with a week and a half ago that I wasn't able to continue working there yesterday. Since then, it has been like a bad breakup. They want to 'talk' about it. Yech. They want to help me 'prioritize' my life. Of course, they want to do that for their benefit. I've already done those things, and that's why I can't work there. It's a pain in my butt, and it's exactly the reason I told them I didn't have time for them. Oy. I wasn't going to be earning a regular paycheck, and that's what I need, even if it's just a part-time thing.

And on the living-situation front, I'm still waiting to hear back from the friend with the room. He won't get back to LA for another couple of days, and I'm not sure he'll call me to confirm it before that, but I'm really anxious about it.

And on a very positive note, I met some very good and interesting people last night! One woman, specifically, who is well connected out here and was happy to help 'plug me in' as she said. That's the kind of thing I've been looking for, and those are the kinds of people I enjoy meeting. She was interesting and she knows lots of interesting people. Always good!

And now I'm going to sound like a broken record, but I really miss my friends and my girlfriend. Things here would be so much easier if I could just kick it with my crew to relax, and snuggle up with my lady.

Also, I need to put the word out there to the people I've met out here about my need for a job. And not just any old job that comes along (my first big mistake), but one that will benefit me in more ways than just cash. I have a possible lead on one that may do these things for me, but I don't know what it will pay...hmmm. At the very least it would be a writing, and possibly an acting job as well. More details as they become available!

-D

Day Thirty Three - Must Survive

So it's getting exponentially harder to live up here in Burbank. I'm constantly exhausted, my schedule is screwed up to high heaven (because everything is thrown at me so last-minute), and I'm getting so little done up here it's a little crazy. I'm able to be maybe 40% productive? That's not nearly enough as I'm trying to make it as BOTH a writer and an actor. Also, the whole Power-Relationships job thing can't continue. I'm thinking about working with them through wednesday to get them the funding they need for the upcoming panel, and then letting them know that I really can't do the job. Oy. I guess everyones advice on this one was correct. Feh.

But most importantly, I have a solution to the living situation for a while. A friend is leaving town for 6 weeks beginning the 29th of this Month, and he is considering letting me rent his room if I pay about half of the rent. It would be huge and get me to within about a week & a half of when I fly back to Colorado to drive out here with the rest of my crew. Hopefully he goes for it and I can survive to the end of the month (ten INCREDIBLY long days...).

It will be interesting to see how my Aunt and Uncle take the news, because they definitely take advantage of having me here all the time to help with the Baby. I would still help a couple of days a week, but without room and (some) board, it will be tough for me to dedicate more than that. They are pretty sensitive, so I don't want to offend them, because I really am grateful that they've allowed me to live here rent-free for the past 7 weeks or so.

Oy, why is this so difficult? And it would be so much easier if I had my friends here with me. Dealing with all of this stuff alone is not easy for me.

Feh.

Hopefully my friend decides he's willing to let me rent his room. Then only ten more days...

Day Thirty Two - Oy

My 'survival' job is killing me. It's a pain in the butt because of my living situation. If I was living ANYWHERE else it wouldn't be, but it's becoming a problem and it's going to hamper both my ability to do it (and therefore make money doing it) and my ability to further my writing and acting careers. Yikes. Hopefully I can regroup this weekend and make a big push during the day on Monday and Tuesday (where I fortunately don't have any speakers I want to see at The Actors Network (TAN)) I can make a little money for Powered Relationships (PR) and myself. That will be good news.

For now, I need to write for about an hour, and then work on my sales pitch for PR til 7 when my bosses will be calling me again. Fortunately, I have til fairly late tonight to actually be able to get work done, as long as it isn't too long of a phone call...

Anyway, I have a lot to do, but I also have updated in a few days so I will make sure I stick to my plan for these updates.

I have two friends who haven't always been the best at staying in touch with people (which is what I'm working on improving at right now). But both of them have able to stay in touch with me while they've been in Europe, which is good. I miss them, so it's nice to be able to keep up with them and their activities and goingsons across the ocean. The fact that they've been able to keep up communication, makes me want to do the same.

I know that wasn't a huge revelation about them, but it's what I've got for today. I'm a bit frazzled, so hopefully I can gather my thoughts to write very well for a stretch!

Love and awesomeness!

-D

Day Twenty Nine - It's Effing Late!!!

So it's now 3 am. I only got home 30 minutes ago and I've spent the time in between making sure I remember who I met tonight. I went to an AWESOME networking event after a very good day of learning things at The Actors Network. It was amazing. And this is after having a great day yesterday that included an amazing concert!

Also I have to include a PS for someone that reads this blog that isn't imaginary: I talked to a couple of people I met at the concert about the Hotel Cafe, and they suggested I go. So I'm definitely going to do that now! And YOU know why...

At this concert, I MET ONE OF MY FAVORITE BANDS!!!! It was their show and it was amazing. They were so nice and cool and genuine and badass. They're even going to do me a favor (which is a secret because it's going to blow the mind of a friend who is back in Colorado). It was so cool, their new stuff is great and I'm very excited about their new album!

Today was AWESOME! I got some funding for my web series, did some excellent networking! 'Pitched' the web series to the woman who will be deciding whether or not it will premier on the website we're targeting (she said she liked the premise!?!?!?). Also, she's awesome, and I hope I get to hang out with her more. I hope I don't become creepy-actor-after-jobs-y around her. I've got to make sure I don't get all desperate! Also, her husband was the COOLEST. Great advice, great conversation. He spent a nice long time telling us about a pitch that he's turning into a pilot for AMC. I'm excited to see where it goes because the idea is pretty sweet.

I also met the sound guy for the web series, pitched a possible director (who seemed to like the idea) and we confirmed our DP (who has her own fancy high quality HD camera!) and made all sorts of good progress in every way! Next will be location scouting, which I will suck at because I'm new to town...hopefully I'll figure it out!!

Anyway, I just want to say that you are all awesome. In your own special way, I know that to be true.

-D

Day Twenty Seven - A Day To Write

I'm stuck up in Burbank for the day, so I'm going to try to force myself to overcome all of the distractions that exist here. At the moment (for example), my uncle has the tv on (which faces my area) with college basketball on. It's muted, but that doesn't help a ton. And every time he comes into the room (oh, he's not even in here), he asks me how it's been going. Even though I'm not paying attention, that pulls me out of what I'm doing every time. Oy. There are also baby sounds (and there will soon be babysitting that needs to be done by me), kitchen sounds, and discussions coming from the next room between my aunt and uncle. OY.

Anyway, I've got lots of following up with people, a review of the play I saw last night, I'm working on an original spec pilot, I've got to prepare a little bit for the reaching out I'm going to be doing tomorrow as a part of my new job, and I need to go over everything I sent in to SAG about my web mini series so that I can call them tomorrow and check in on the process. PHEW. That's a pretty big day! Not to mention having to do some laundry and other things non-computer related (weird, right? The real world?).

And I'll update more later, because right now is a perfect time for me to be productive, because my uncle just left for work, the tv is off and my cousin is asleep!

ADIOS!

-D

Day Twenty Four - Beach Business

The meeting I had for today was moved to a pretty sweet hotel in Santa Monica with an amazing view of the ocean. Yeah, today was a good day. It didn't start that way, but it definitely has become that.

I don't have a ton of time for a blog post now, so I'll add another one later.

The friend I'll be talking about today is one that I've known for a while, but never been particularly close to. I will be in the next few months, because we'll be living together (or at least really close to each other) and spending a bunch of time together. I'm looking forward to it. We are very different in a lot of ways. He parties way harder than I do, and generally lives a crazier life than I do, but he does it in impressive ways. He's incredibly resourceful and we have a lot of fun when we hang out. I'm just excited to see where it goes, as far as a friendship. He has always been one of the people that I've gotten along with really well, but we just haven't ended up hanging out very much. I've had a few people like that in my life, and they're great and fun, but I always wish I could spend more time with them. I'm hoping I'm able to do that with this guy. There are a lot of things about him that I admire and that I need to work on in myself, so I'm looking forward to the opportunities to do that!

I am wearing an article of clothing that's really comfortable today. I hope you are too!

-D

Day Twenty Three- Good, But...

For some reason I don't feel very good. Perhaps the lack of sleep is finally catching up with me? Perhaps I got dehydrated today? I don't know, because I had a really good day. I made progress in just about every area I'm trying to work on in my life. My acting, writing, and details about the rest of my crew moving out here. All of which are good developments, which I'm very happy about. I think I am learning that the whole not-having-a-place thing is not for me. I'm counting down the days til my friends move out here and we get a place (or places together). Not only will having a place be easier, but being around them will really help me recharge my batteries. They're great sounding boards for ideas, they inspire me in ways I'm not always sure I understand, and they make me feel like I'm surrounded by family more than many members of my family do.

And over the last couple of days I've talked to all of them about the details about moving out here and living together that we haven't really discussed before. We talked about everyones ability to pay rent (I'm feeling much better about this), what their plans are, and what they want in an apartment or house. We've come to some pretty good places in figuring out what everyone is looking for and how much we're willing to pay for it. Now I just have to do some legwork to find better places than are listed online. They're out there, I just have to drive around and find them. I'm thinking about doing that a bit on Friday. I've got some areas I'm going to look.

Also, I been writing this blog post in between things, and I might have a solution to my feelings of meh-ness. I'm going to stay in Burbank tonight, and I'm going to work out tomorrow morning before heading down to West LA! I think that might help a lot of things, and it'll force me to fall asleep at a more reasonable time tonight. That way it won't kill me to get woken up earlier.

Anyway, on the acting front I went to this awesome session at The Actors Network by the awesome Bonnie Gillespie. She was great and interesting and fun and I learned a ton. I'm definitely going to like TAN (The Actors Network) and I plan on attending as many talks there as I can. I'm definitely going to start referring people there because it's so incredibly helpful. I already feel so much better prepared to be doing this, and I've only been to one!

On the writing front, I'm going to be meeting with my TV-writer friend who has been super helpful and is going to help me get a literary agent. It's an amazing thing that this friend has been so willing to help and offer advice. I can't wait to talk to her on Friday to see what she's been up to and to finally let her read some more of my writing. I think she'll like it, and hopefully she'll be willing to pass it along to her agent! Phew, I can't wait for this weekend.

I've been submitting myself for a bunch of projects on LACasting, so hopefully something happens there.

Things really are happening for me, I just want more.

Anyway, I hope all of you had a wonderful day and are feeling good about yourselves!

-D

Day Twenty One - Since I Started Blogging Again...

Things have been looking up for me since I started blogging again, which is good! I'm starting to make progress in a couple of areas, and I'm feeling better about just about everything.

I'm sitting in the airport waiting to fly back to beautiful Los Angeles feeling much better about some things (and a little conflicted about one thing). The living situation when the rest of my crew move out to LA in May, for example is starting to materialize. We had some tough discussions and have narrowed down what we may be looking for, and also the areas we are looking. I feel better about their abilities to pay rent, which is also very good news (something I was nervous about until this trip).

The biggest thing that happened on this trip, though, was a confidence boost. I'm great at hiding the fact that my self confidence varies from a ton to zilch on a daily basis. What keeps my confidence up is the group of friends I have. They support and believe in me, and they tell me this constantly. I need this more than I like to let on, which is why the fact that I was feeling lonely before this little trip was bad news. It was impacting my confidence in my actions and my approach to everything. But on my ride to the airport, my friend who was driving gave me a huge confidence boost. He will be moving out here in May to become an actor/model, and he just kept telling me that the progress I'm making is better than I'm giving myself credit for. The one thing we keep hearing is that achieving success in this business will take time, and I'm not the most patient of people. But he was able to convince me that I'm doing well and on the right track, which I really needed to hear. Not only that, but that he's going to use my actions as a model for when he gets out there. Anyway, this might be less about him and more about me, but it was huge for me!

And holy cow do I love airports. I know people can't help how well they deal with air travel, and some wonderful people in my life hate flying, but I love watching people in airports. People freak out, their 'ticks' and odd tendencies come out, and you can learn a lot by watching them. It's fun and also eye opening. It helps me to keep my temper in check and to work on myself as a human being. So many of these people have lost all perspective. For examples, airline employees are people, and they are at work. So many people forget this (and not just about airline employees) and treat them terribly. And nobody remembers that flying is amazing. The fact that we can get thousands of miles in only a few hours is pretty impressively remarkable, and so many people take it for granted. Louis CK does a routine on this, and he's right. Waiting in an airport for a few hours is so much easier than days on a train.

Anyway, I hope you have someone to hold tonight, imaginary readers. I did for the last three nights, and it's the most incredible feeling in the world.

-D

Day Twenty - ...Oops!

Well hello again. I assure you, I'm still here. I've just been busy. With what? I'm not entirely sure, but I've been busy with it. I'm currently on a mini-vacation back in Colorado, which is nice. Seeing people (especially the Girlfriend) is something I've definitely needed to do. And plans for the rest of the crew to move out to Los Angeles are becoming more clear. For example, my lovely girlfriend accepted a job that will keep her here til August, which means she won't be moving out with everybody else at the end of May. Things won't change much planningwise, I'll just pay a little more rent for those few months before she moves into my (and then, our) room.

Speaking of paying more, I can hear you asking yourselves how an income-less bum like myself can afford such things? Well, I have a job interview on Tuesday with a pretty cool sounding company. An awesome friend of mine got them in touch with me when he found out they were looking for someone to head up their sales team. I'm looking forward to the interview because, if nothing else, it's an excellent chance to see if I'm still able to present myself well. I haven't been in a traditional job interview for a while, so I'm excited to see how I do. And I still am not 100% on if I would take the job if I'm lucky enough to have an offer extended my way, but I'm leaning towards doing it. I have a little more research to do before I can say either way. I think it's something that I would be good at, but if I'm wrong and I fail (always a possibility, but I feel very good about my abilities here) there will be no money in it for me. It's commission based, which means it could be a black-hole for my time and energy. On the other hand, I think it would be a job that afforded me lots of flexibility, requiring me simply to be reachable by phone at times, not necessarily in the office. If that is indeed the case, then I will probably say yes to this job offer. If not, the decision will be even tougher.

On the friends-front, I've got one that I definitely want to talk about today. He is the one that put this company in touch with me, and he is awesome. He is all about networking and taking care of things on your own. He is great at calling in favors, and is working with me on one of my projects already, with the possibility of other joint-ventures as well! He is incredibly driven and pushes me to work harder at living and being a good and successful person, which is something I definitely need at times. He is also an inspiration in that way, because I feel like we have some very similar traits and tendencies, and many of them are the ones that are allowing him to kick-butt in everything he does. In some ways he is a model for my potential and what I may be able to accomplish. He's working hard, but he's doing what he wants to and is getting better at it every day. Also, he's just so dang cool and fun and great!

Enough fawning, I hope you (wherever you are, you exciting imaginary readers) are having a wonderful time.

Love,

-D